Does It Get Better in Time?

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It’s been twenty years since my dad died and in some ways it feels like yesterday.  In other ways it feels like an eternity ago.  Everyone always told me “it will get better in time”, but does it?  I really don’t think it does.  It just gets different.  Not better and not necessarily worse, just different.  I think of my dad every day and remember so many great moments.

My dad was definitely a morning person.  He would get up way before the sun would rise and make a pot of coffee.  He would sit in the kitchen drink his coffee, listen the radio and just enjoy the peace and quiet.  I used to love getting up early and hanging out with him.  I’m sure I wasn’t exactly what you would call peace and quiet with my million questions and nonstop chatter, but he never complained.  He answered every last question and let me talk nonstop about nothing in particular.

My dad also kept a perfect yard.  It was always cut just so and he would alternate every mowing with back and forth, up and down and diagonal one way and then diagonal the other way.  I remember this often as we spend countless hours now in our own backyard and garden.  Growing up our yard was always the greenest (sorry East End neighbors!) and it was perfectly flat.  I remember the time I came home to find one of those blacktop rollers parked in our front lawn.  Somehow my dad managed to convince the city crew to leave it parked in our lawn overnight and convinced them to flatten the yard while they were at it.   Aaahhhh…. if only we could find a city crew with one of these rollers for our current backyard.  We definitely have the most non-flat yard there is.

To my dad, family was so important.  Every Sunday after church we’d head to Ino, WI for a day of family.  There would be a pot of homemade chicken soup and dumplings on at the farm and all of us cousins would run around like crazy and just be kids.  Nobody was outside with us checking on what we were doing or where we were.  It was different back then.  It seemed so much simpler.

And weekends when the Woodtick Races were happening?  Well that was a whole different kind of fun!  I’m so bummed that I have missed them the last several years that the family has been having them again.  One of these years I will manage to coordinate our schedules perfectly and everything will fall into place so that we too can be up in Ino for some family fun.  I want the boys to experience this family tradition just as I did so many times before.

I used to love how every holiday, every birthday and well, just random days were celebrated with family.  Nobody needed a reason to get together.  Everyone just enjoyed being in each others company.  Parties weren’t planned and catered and decorated for.  Everyone would bring a dish to share and fun was had by all.  Nobody was trying to outdo the other person.  I miss those times.  I miss family just getting together for no reason at all.  There didn’t need to be a holiday.  There didn’t need to be a birthday.  There just needed to be a day.  And that was enough.

For this coming year I want it to be simpler.  I want more time just being.  I want more time with family and friends for no reason at all.

So here we are once again at June 28th.  My least favorite day of the year.  So today I will love on my boys (all three of them!) a little more and appreciate the little things that make the great memories in life.

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  1. Typical Suburban Family says:

    Ellie – I wish I could have gotten to know your dad better. I always hear such fond memories of him from Jim. He certainly was a special person and will forever be in all of our hearts. And I agree. We must appreciate those we have and spend as much time together as possible. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the busy moments of every day life, but we can’t forget those that are important to us and mean the world to us. Love you!

  2. Typical Suburban Family says:

    Theresa!! I loved your comment. You made me smile as I read it and so happy that I’m not the only one who has such fond memories of my dad. Yes, he always wore the same style pants (just a different color) and he always had a button up shirt on even when he wasn’t working. Aaaaahhhh… I forgot about that and enjoyed the memory. He also always wore the same style slippers and we bought him a new pair each Christmas.

    As for the tick races…. I used to make some GOOD money!! We learned at an early age to watch who won the hand and go over by them with the pitcher. You always got a bigger tip from someone who was winning 😉

    Thanks Theresa. I love your memories too. You put a smile on my face.

  3. Dad died three years ago, and it doesn’t get better, just as you said, different. I still miss my dad every day, and often find myself thinking, how would he react to Owee and Ryan? What would he think of this thing or that… It does remind me that we have to spend as much time with our loved ones as we can, always remember to tell them how much we love them, and that we are there for them no matter what. Love you guys!!

  4. Theresa Ledin says:

    Hard to believe it’s been 20 years! I found the part about your Dad getting up early morning a good memory for me as well. It was one of those many times I stayed the weekend at your house. I remember having a dream about a radio announcer talking on the radio with this kinda deep voice that kept getting louder. It actually woke me up, but I could still hear the man talking! So, I got up, walked to the kitchen where the voice was coming from and there at the table was Uncle Fuzzy,(I’m pretty sure he had his brown or blue pants & his white, button up shirt on)with you and his cup of coffee. That memory sticks in my head, even more so now that you talked about him being a early morning riser. Wood tick races……I’m forever changed by all of us little kids walking through the woods, specifically to come back covered with ticks to sell to the grown ups for the races! (Frankie, if you read this, you still owe me a quarter…your a accountant cuz….do the interest on that!!) We all also earned our beverage server license at a very early single digit age! We made some good money along with the great memories at the track parties! Some of my favorite childhood memories are the times spent with you, your mom, dad, grandma & the Appleton family. I’m sending you a big hug Jeaner! Love & miss you cuz!

  5. Sorry to hear about your dad.

    And I’m also sorry that I’m not more gifted with techy issues. I have no idea what to advise about the comments.

    Your new discussion in my community will work just fine and I’ll post the results Sunday night. Thanks for playing along.

  6. I am sorry to hear about your dad. Well you are doesnt get just gets different and we learn to live with it and love everyone around us even more.

  7. Carol Abrahamzon says:

    Thinking of you, your dad and your mom today. Wood tick races were the best!!!!!


  1. […] today since I lost my dad.  Does it get easier with each passing year?  Nope.  Not at all.  Like I said last year, it just gets […]

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